"She"

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Re: "She"

Post  Scooby-Doo on Sun Nov 15, 2009 1:29 pm

Yeah. I really don't like this chapter, it was really just a filler--but, this little filler, I'm trying to have it come in handy later; which, agreed, does make it "Can we get to the actual plot already?". And, I'm also trying to build up some sort of a side-plot for Jessi and Rahzel, so they aren't just there (like most siblings in stories), then I'm gonna merge it in with the real plot.

Again, I say: heavy editing in December. That way it won't be much of a filler. XD

(also, I tried to throw in a "WTHeck sentence" in that filler, but it must've been too subtle. I didn't really explain it.)
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Re: "She"

Post  LaBohemien on Sun Nov 15, 2009 4:28 pm

Yeah... Most books that switch through characters usually have the first chapter boring. But the next one on that character is what really clicks.
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Re: "She"

Post  Scooby-Doo on Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:02 pm

AND THEN THEY ALL GOT IN A ROCKETSHIP AND FLEW INTO A BLACK HOLE THE END

OH YEAH AND SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE

yeah I can't finish this ;3;
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Re: "She"

Post  Anime_Amanda_ on Fri Dec 11, 2009 4:41 pm

NOOOOOO ADD MORE.
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Re: "She"

Post  CherrySama on Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:26 pm

For my stories, I always start with the end. =3
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Re: "She"

Post  Scooby-Doo on Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:50 pm

This was the first draft evur guys. I did this to test the story idea a bit before I changed it up and went with the story of Kyle the semi-responsible teenage girl with two sisters and just a mom, rather than Casey the arrogant teenage boy living with his aunt and uncle and cousin.




Walking a bike down a street was an easy task for most people, one would think. Up a hill, it may make it a bit more challenging. Though, Casey was not walking his bike up a hill, he in fact was standing in a gazebo, tapping his foot, looking out at the pouring rain. When he was bike-riding around the park in his neighborhood, he had not expected a sudden thunderstorm—so he did the logical thing, threw his hood up and took shelter in the gazebo. That was logical for him, anyway. He didn’t want to get soaked, his aunt and uncle would be oh-so angry if he came home soaked, tracking mud all over the “kitchen floor that I just cleaned, Casey!”



He tapped his foot, watching the rain pour, and listened to the thunder. He could’ve sworn that there was a flash of lightening. This was a perfect way to end the day—he had woken up at one in the afternoon (“It’s summer, it doesn’t matter,”), taken a shower, clothed himself in jeans, a T-shirt and a sweatshirt, and wasted his afternoon playing on his computer. Typical behavior for a teenage boy, though his Aunt Lorraine and Uncle James were none too pleased about this. “Wait until you have to go to school, you’ll be so tired,” says Aunt Lorraine constantly when Casey comes down for dinner, “just you wait.”



Though, it was mid-June, and Casey didn’t worry about upcoming school. He’d get on a regular routine around late July or August. It didn’t matter to him how late he stayed up (which was usually three, four in the morning) and how he spent his day (usually computers, maybe a trip to the candy store or a bike ride), he wanted summer to pass so he could get back and see his friends again. The majority of them were all on vacation with family, or at camp. Not even his best friend Laurence had decided to stay, going to Niagara Falls for a family reunion.



The rain wasn’t as heavy after a few minutes, so Casey walked his bike out of the gazebo. But before he could even swing his leg over the seat, thunder roared and there was a bright flash of lightning.



He went back under the gazebo for safety. But that’s when he noticed Her.



She stood in front of him in the gazebo, long bangs hiding Her eyes, hair trailing down to Her thin waist. Though her eyes were hidden behind a sheet of hair, there was a gentle smile on Her pale pink lips. She was petite, wearing a black rain coat and matching galoshes, holding a white-and-red striped umbrella, a contrast of all the dark on Her.



“Hey—” Casey lifted his hand a bit, for a small waved, and before he could blink She shoved the umbrella in his opened palm, turned, and trudged off into the storm. “Hey—wait!”



But She was gone.



When Casey came home, he parked his bike in the garage, and set the umbrella given to him by Her beside it. Figuring that he would get an earful of yelling from Aunt Lorraine, he set his shoes by the stairs in the garage and entered the house.
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